Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
So I finally programmed Music City's best country radio station into my car radio. It's about time...i've lived here almost 2 years already and barely know any country hits out there. In addition, it's all our youth girls listen to, well ok - most of them...well one in particular that i have in mind that thinks i'm crazy because i don't regularly listen to the Big 98 or whatever it is!
So yesterday on the way to work, i tune into some country, and the song that is on the radio is by Kenny Chesney (yay!! i actually know who he is - thanks to Renee Zellweger!) not even a minute into the car, i have tears slowly streaming down my face because the words of the song just hit me! (And i'm hormonal and very emotional!) But, the song was called Don't Blink...here are some of the lyrics:
ok, so you get the picture...I am driving to work...alone in my car...wondering why i've just left my child at school (who was sad when i left him!) and I am going to work at a job that is just "so-so," and really don't know when if i really said goodbye to Josh, or told him i loved him, as we rushed out the door. It was just one of those brief moments in life where i really stopped and thought...i don't wanna miss anything! i don't wanna be too busy, or too focused, or too wrapped up to blink and then before i know it, the moments are gone. (ok, i am crying now. i am telling you - this is very therapuetic.)
So the song isn't even over and i change the station - ugh! I just don't wanna cry and be sad! As I'm walking into work i remember the song again and start welling up - ugh! Just wanted to block it out so i wouldn't be sad all day. :)
Fast forward to bedtime last night...it's been a long day and Josh has been gone at a meeting all evening and i just want Jackson to go to bed finally so i can have some "me time" and watch tv. So i turn off the light and do the drill...no more water, no more stuffed animals can possibly fit into your bed - GOOD NIGHT Jackson!
He's been mumbling something lately at bedtime and i can't tell if he's been trying to stall so i'll stay a little longer or what. But last night i finally understood him. He was saying "rock" and he was pointing to the rocking chair that we barely use - except for clothes piling up on it.
I asked him in disbelief, "You want me to rock you for a few minutes?"
"yesh," he told me.
So we got both blankies and our Cars pillow and went and rocked.
Ahh, it was such sweet time. Him nuzzled up to me and gently falling asleep.
I sat there in the dark and realized what a special and unique moment it was - i don't know how long he'll want me to rock him...eventually they'll be a day when he's too big to fit on my lap! So i just rocked and rocked and thanked God for this special moment that he gave me yesterday...one that i may never have again, but a moment i wanted to soak in as long as i could because life moves fast and i don't wanna blink and regret not taking in such special moments life offers.
God was so good to me yesterday by giving me so many chances to slow down, and just play and love on my son. Even if i didn't feel like building the blocks up one more time, only to have him kick them down again immediately - it was worth it. Even though i knew i could be folding laundry, but he wanted me to sit and watch Diego with him for a few minutes, (i am starting to really get annoyed with Diego's voice), i did it anyway. Even thought i didn't want to read one more book, i'm so thankful i did because his excited giggle was worth it.
Lord - you are so good to me and i thank you for blessing me in little ways through my son, or even through a secular song on the radio. May i slow down enough so i can soak in every moment you give me here on this earth, and may they leave such imprints in my mind and memories that i'll never forget what a gift they are.
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
Yay! it's about time, i am finally feeling better and am not blowing my nose every 2 minutes! :) This really did last about 10 days - just like they say.
So yes, i am glad to be back.
Last week we had some couples over for dinner that will prolly never return!! HA! They got there at 7 pm and my plan was to have Jackson already fed and maybe keep him occupied playing with something while we ate. Of course, that didn't work and he HAD to eat with us. Wait, let me back up in saying it began in just complete chaos. First, i found out that one of our guests didn't eat lasagna or salad - 2 of the 3 components of our meal. we had no other choices to offer him really, so he settled on a ham and cheese sandwhich...dry. and some garlic bread. Yum.
THEN, while trying to serve everyone, and make something for the picky eater, Jackson was screaming CRUUTTONS at the top of his lungs b/c he just had to have croutons that were in the salad i made. (the newly engaged couple that was there seriously looked very frightened. they will prolly be scared to have kids now.) In the midst of all this, Josh was sweet and helping make the ham and cheese sandwhich and insisting on chips, which our picky guest keep declining, there is smoke coming out of the oven. AHHH - i had forgotten that i had my peach cobbler baking in the oven!!! So, everyone is up from the dinner table freaking out, and we open a window in the kitchen so the smoke alarms don't go off. THANKFULLY, the cobbler isn't burnt, it has just overflowed a little onto the oven bottom and that is what was smoking. Now we have a lovely burnt odor to go with our lasagna (and ham & cheese sandwhich) meal.
So, we finally sit down and I realize that another one of our guests doesn't eat salad or garlic bread, so strike two. This is officially a real fun dinner party now. Jackson won't leave my seat, so i graciously go put another seat into the kitchen and sit at the head of the table taking it all in. Fun times. Now Jackson is screaming he wants milk. And garlic bread. good lord. So, i go serve my sweet son all the while trying to insert a few comments into the slightly dry conversation to try to liven up things a bit. Two minutes later, Jackson is done of course. So i take him into the other room to watch Diego for a few minutes, and then i finally join the group only to have my lasagna be cold and nothing looks that good anymore and I remember so very well why we don't do these things very often. Oh well, at least the crazy toddler is pacified. :)
Thankfully, things got better and the talk livened and we had a good time. Everyone loved the dessert, including the picky eaters - yay!! I redeemed myself. The night was slightly filled with strange discussion and very random utube viewings, but all in all, it ended well.
Here is a pic of Jackson in his favorite passtime - having "no diaper time" at home in the evenings. :) Don't worry, i wiped the chair off with disinfectant wipees.
Hugs to you all - and a word to the wise - check with your guests before having them over to make sure they don't have any food aversions ok. :)