Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Don't Blink

So I finally programmed Music City's best country radio station into my car radio. It's about time...i've lived here almost 2 years already and barely know any country hits out there. In addition, it's all our youth girls listen to, well ok - most of them...well one in particular that i have in mind that thinks i'm crazy because i don't regularly listen to the Big 98 or whatever it is!

So yesterday on the way to work, i tune into some country, and the song that is on the radio is by Kenny Chesney (yay!! i actually know who he is - thanks to Renee Zellweger!) not even a minute into the car, i have tears slowly streaming down my face because the words of the song just hit me! (And i'm hormonal and very emotional!) But, the song was called Don't Blink...here are some of the lyrics:

"Don't Blink
Just like that you're six years old and you take a nap and you
Wake up and you're twenty-five and your high school sweetheart becomes your wife
Don't blinkYou just might miss your babies growing like mine did
Turning into moms and dads next thing you know your "better half"
Of fifty years is there in bed And you're praying God takes you instead
Trust me friend a hundred years goes faster than you think
So don't blink
So I've been tryin' ta slow it down
I've been tryin' ta take it in
In this here today, gone tomorrow world we're livin' in
Naw, don't blink, don't blink
Life Goes Faster Than You Think
Don't Blink..."

ok, so you get the picture...I am driving to work...alone in my car...wondering why i've just left my child at school (who was sad when i left him!) and I am going to work at a job that is just "so-so," and really don't know when if i really said goodbye to Josh, or told him i loved him, as we rushed out the door. It was just one of those brief moments in life where i really stopped and thought...i don't wanna miss anything! i don't wanna be too busy, or too focused, or too wrapped up to blink and then before i know it, the moments are gone. (ok, i am crying now. i am telling you - this is very therapuetic.)

So the song isn't even over and i change the station - ugh! I just don't wanna cry and be sad! As I'm walking into work i remember the song again and start welling up - ugh! Just wanted to block it out so i wouldn't be sad all day. :)

Fast forward to bedtime last night...it's been a long day and Josh has been gone at a meeting all evening and i just want Jackson to go to bed finally so i can have some "me time" and watch tv. So i turn off the light and do the drill...no more water, no more stuffed animals can possibly fit into your bed - GOOD NIGHT Jackson!

He's been mumbling something lately at bedtime and i can't tell if he's been trying to stall so i'll stay a little longer or what. But last night i finally understood him. He was saying "rock" and he was pointing to the rocking chair that we barely use - except for clothes piling up on it.

I asked him in disbelief, "You want me to rock you for a few minutes?"
"yesh," he told me.

So we got both blankies and our Cars pillow and went and rocked.

Ahh, it was such sweet time. Him nuzzled up to me and gently falling asleep.
I sat there in the dark and realized what a special and unique moment it was - i don't know how long he'll want me to rock him...eventually they'll be a day when he's too big to fit on my lap! So i just rocked and rocked and thanked God for this special moment that he gave me yesterday...one that i may never have again, but a moment i wanted to soak in as long as i could because life moves fast and i don't wanna blink and regret not taking in such special moments life offers.

God was so good to me yesterday by giving me so many chances to slow down, and just play and love on my son. Even if i didn't feel like building the blocks up one more time, only to have him kick them down again immediately - it was worth it. Even though i knew i could be folding laundry, but he wanted me to sit and watch Diego with him for a few minutes, (i am starting to really get annoyed with Diego's voice), i did it anyway. Even thought i didn't want to read one more book, i'm so thankful i did because his excited giggle was worth it.

So...don't blink.

Lord - you are so good to me and i thank you for blessing me in little ways through my son, or even through a secular song on the radio. May i slow down enough so i can soak in every moment you give me here on this earth, and may they leave such imprints in my mind and memories that i'll never forget what a gift they are.


Lauren said...

I just created an account so I can comment on your blogs now :) I love that you're finally listening to country music - it's about time!
I'm glad Kenny gave you some inspiration and encouragement - it can come from anywhere!